Here is a post I found from a while ago and never finished, and probably never will. Maybe you'll enjoy it, who cares...blah blah blah
I always manage to have lots of crazy things on my mind. Most of them deal with apartment decor and what I'm going to be eating next but, nonetheless my life must move on to more important things; drinking while sitting in college classes.
I know that dumping out Gatorade and filling more than 3/4 of the bottle with vodka seems pretty irresponsible, but we only live once. I wouldn't dare drink if I didn't feel that this bitter tasting liquid courage would help me out in anyway. One fall evening I had to attend my psych 101 class with a buddy of mine at my towns local community college. Psych is a very fun subject but this teacher was just awful, I wanted to raise my hand and answer and be apart of class but, I was just to shy.
I decided I need to take a stand against this boring teacher and useless time in my life(I ended up dropping out) and do what I felt was a good idea. DRINK! The previous night I planned everything and decided I was going to hide my adult beverage in a Gatorade bottle filed with vodka. I decided to take the high school route and drink in the parking lot as I thought it would bring me back to the old days. I soon realized that my high school life consisted of staying home and eating taco bell and called that....
December 2012 is coming... So party like its the Apocalypse.You're gonna die soon, you assholes.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
A shit sandwich for lunch
Yuck. Now that that's over with...
I hate a lot of things. Things make me upset inside and I want to hurt these things. I want to punch them 100 times. I want them to cry. So, here's what I am going to do about it - play GTA. In GTA, I can punch the fuck out of everyone anytime I want. I can punch them until they are dead and take their bloody money. This is gratifying. Mmmm. That's it. Fuck off.
Jumbo
Friday, October 2, 2009
back again???
Hey there bitches!
When we started this blog its purpose was to push us to live like tomorrow was the apocolypse. After our amazing adventures, we were supposed to report our mischief here to you, and you were supposed to do with it what you please. Well, we didn't live likethat for long because we kept getting arrested and, as you probably know because you're a convict, getting arrested and the shit afterwords get expensive. Since we have no jobs or ambitions, paying for bail, lawyers, handjobs, etc., can be quite difficult. Does all this mean that we died? Kind of. One of us literally died, and the rest just died inside.
With all that shit said, I will fill you in on what we have done since last post. Zac won the lottery, bought too much shit and ended up broke again. Ryan stole a $20 bill from zac, bet on some sporting event and won $10k. He bought a car without insuring it and ran it into a day care center. Oops. Ronnie fell down and broke his coccyx while showboating for some girl who he wanted to lay down with. After laying down with her more than would be considered a legal number of sessions, he found that they were blood related when he ran into her at a family reunion. Oops. Finally, I went on a whacky adventure with a guy and a girl from my office. We went to Washington DC, Paris, and some other places. We were trying to find a NATIONAL TREASURE. unfortunately, the adventure was retarded and the jokes along the way were tacky and surprisingly PG rated.
That's that mother fucker.
When we started this blog its purpose was to push us to live like tomorrow was the apocolypse. After our amazing adventures, we were supposed to report our mischief here to you, and you were supposed to do with it what you please. Well, we didn't live likethat for long because we kept getting arrested and, as you probably know because you're a convict, getting arrested and the shit afterwords get expensive. Since we have no jobs or ambitions, paying for bail, lawyers, handjobs, etc., can be quite difficult. Does all this mean that we died? Kind of. One of us literally died, and the rest just died inside.
With all that shit said, I will fill you in on what we have done since last post. Zac won the lottery, bought too much shit and ended up broke again. Ryan stole a $20 bill from zac, bet on some sporting event and won $10k. He bought a car without insuring it and ran it into a day care center. Oops. Ronnie fell down and broke his coccyx while showboating for some girl who he wanted to lay down with. After laying down with her more than would be considered a legal number of sessions, he found that they were blood related when he ran into her at a family reunion. Oops. Finally, I went on a whacky adventure with a guy and a girl from my office. We went to Washington DC, Paris, and some other places. We were trying to find a NATIONAL TREASURE. unfortunately, the adventure was retarded and the jokes along the way were tacky and surprisingly PG rated.
That's that mother fucker.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Fuck me in the goat ass!
Holy banana boat! Well, looks like we are back for another round of entries. It's finally 2009 and I had to post something because I feel like this blog needs some love. Many things have changed in our personal lives and we all decided to grow up a little bit. Let me give you all a quick update as to where everyone is at...
Nick got married and enrolled in Regis University. Ronnie and I also enrolled in community college(it's nothing like animal house at all!) and Ryan has worked his way up the ladder at our favorite meeting place Illegal Pete's. That's about it, no fancy or crazy stories to tell. So, you are all caught up!
But before I leave I just want to point out something about this years girl scout cookies. THEY MADE THE BOX SMALLER! Why is this important? It means fewer cookies and, it means you get a big giant stick in the ass when it comes to the price. Of course they raised the price and you get fewer cookies. I would like to know where all of this so called "cookie" money is going. I would like to take a moment and consider the girl scouts to the biggest and badest orginized crime ring ever created!
Just like the mafia, these little girls or should I say "Green Bandits!" strong arm you in to buying cookies by blocking the entrance to every local grocery store in town, or by going door to door armed with innocence and dreams of raising enough money for a camping trip. I can't remember the last time I've seen a community funded girl scout park or a statue of a local hero being erected with a plaque saying "Dontated by local Girl Scout troop 231". Or maybe those things are out there...I could be wrong. But everytime I gaze upon a box of thin mints I can't help but notice the picture of that happy girl, waving her arms with joy. She is so joyful because she just scammed you out of $45 worth of bullshit cookies that sent her and her family on a 6 day 5 night camping adventure deep in to the heart of Alaska! You're welcome!
I hope that everytime you see a girl scout laughing and having a fun time twirling in circles outside King Soopers you know they are laughing at you...sucker!
P.S. I wold like everyone to know, this post was made possible because I was able to snack on thin mints while writing it. GIIIIRLLLL SCCCOOUUUUTTTS!!!
Nick got married and enrolled in Regis University. Ronnie and I also enrolled in community college(it's nothing like animal house at all!) and Ryan has worked his way up the ladder at our favorite meeting place Illegal Pete's. That's about it, no fancy or crazy stories to tell. So, you are all caught up!
But before I leave I just want to point out something about this years girl scout cookies. THEY MADE THE BOX SMALLER! Why is this important? It means fewer cookies and, it means you get a big giant stick in the ass when it comes to the price. Of course they raised the price and you get fewer cookies. I would like to know where all of this so called "cookie" money is going. I would like to take a moment and consider the girl scouts to the biggest and badest orginized crime ring ever created!
Just like the mafia, these little girls or should I say "Green Bandits!" strong arm you in to buying cookies by blocking the entrance to every local grocery store in town, or by going door to door armed with innocence and dreams of raising enough money for a camping trip. I can't remember the last time I've seen a community funded girl scout park or a statue of a local hero being erected with a plaque saying "Dontated by local Girl Scout troop 231". Or maybe those things are out there...I could be wrong. But everytime I gaze upon a box of thin mints I can't help but notice the picture of that happy girl, waving her arms with joy. She is so joyful because she just scammed you out of $45 worth of bullshit cookies that sent her and her family on a 6 day 5 night camping adventure deep in to the heart of Alaska! You're welcome!
I hope that everytime you see a girl scout laughing and having a fun time twirling in circles outside King Soopers you know they are laughing at you...sucker!
P.S. I wold like everyone to know, this post was made possible because I was able to snack on thin mints while writing it. GIIIIRLLLL SCCCOOUUUUTTTS!!!
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