It's too late.

Hi Monkeys,

While reading back on this blog I have realized that we have done some funny things that may or may not have been funny/entertaining to you. You may think that all we do is stick our negative opinion online and drink. But, honestly we are genuine people. We are free thinkers and have a great outlook on life. We consider ourselves smart and compassionate. So on that note we thank you for reading the blog even if it is a little ridiculous. But did you honestly think I would leave you without some sort of funny story? Pshh, yeah right.

"Chad the lawyer"
Last night down at our local illegal Pete's the staff was short handed and people were pouring in to get food and drinks. Ronnie was working double time to help make food and serve drinks. Needless to say he was running around like crazy. All of this running around was just fueling the fire inside of him. Let me jump ahead to later in the evening. Across the street a new bar went up called The Tavern. It's a local Chad McBro hang out were popping your collar will never go out of style. Luckily, for illegal Pete's The Tavern's food is really expensive so, they get people to come over before a night of drinking and dishing out bad pick up lines. Two Chads walk in and order food and a beer a piece. Everything is fine until...Chads drink is half empty and needs to get back to the Tavern. The conversation went something like this.

"Hey, hey bro."

"What can I do for you man?" said Ronnie.

"Where are your to go cups?" replies the Chad.

"You want a to go cup for your beer? Nope, not going to happen."

"Are you serious? But I'm a lawyer in the DTC, I know all the laws"

"I don't care what you are, I can't give out beer to go."

So at this point the Chad is getting mad, and Ronnie is getting so fired up he is starting to shake.
The Chad goes back over to his friend and Ronnie points to the friend and says...

..."You're a lawyer too?"

And the kid replies with "Yup!"

So two lawyers walk into bar looking to do something Illegal, It was pretty classic because they are feeding this bullshit to girls at Chad bars all over the place. I don't know who is more retarded, the Chads or the pathetic women who fall for this shit. Whatever happened to just beating women over the head with a stick like cavemen used to do. I think the modern day club to the head is the shitty pick up line and fake bravado, and if that doesn't work, they can always use the back up plan...The date rape drug.

I hate Chads, put your collar down.

Please use the vocoder with caution! Or not at all.

Something dawned on me today while I was sitting at work listening to music on myspace.
The use of the vocoder on vocals is entirely over used and shitty! You don't know what a vocoder is? Let me explain...Pop in any Daft Punk CD and you will here this vocal effect that makes the singers voice pitch up and down in wacky ways. Why is it that kids these days think they can become the "next big thing" by slapping this shit effect on their voice. A good example of this is a kid called "Nice guys finish first". Please go look him up and you can understand what I'm talking about. This trend needs to stop! It's getting out of control! Another thing is the music is shit too.
You can't sing, you can't hold pitch(that's why you use the vocoder to hide your shit voice) and you can't play piano. You and your musical ideas are shit. Please go back to being a kid and watching cartoons and playing in the sandbox and eating pizza. But I think better yet...STOP BUYING IN TO THIS SHITTY TREND. When we music lovers go and listen and buy or pay to see a show we support this cause of filth. So next time you run in to the "next big thing" please slap the shit out of him/her for me. Thank you.

China decided to stop serving dog meat...

Since we are finally bringing back the apacoblog I thought I would make my first post about dog meat. Yes, you read right...dog meat. China decided to not serve dog meat during the Olympic games. Are they trying to hide something everyone in the world has known for years? China you eat dogs. We get it, it might be tasty in a soup or on a sandwich but seriously. People in America don't eat dogs unless you are a crazy person and like to eat man's best friend. Just imagine coming home and your favorite dog, zippers has brought you the mail but, the first thing that runs across your mind is... sorry zippers I'm going to roast you tonight with carrots and potatoes. Let's hope the kids don't realize their best friend is missing and sitting on the table smelling delicious.

China, let's figure out how to clean the air before we worry about what food we are eating. Everything looks the same fried anyway. On a personal note..I'm kinda chubby and having a hard time tying my shoes these days. I need to lose this weight but goddamn I love tacos and fried food. I would also like to take a moment to talk about our victory at our local geeks who drink trivia game. After about 2 years of playing we finally took first...The rest of the teams fell like Berlin during WW2. We totally crushed it.

That's all that is on my mind right now. Besides the fact I'm sweating while writing this, fuck I'm fat.

Keep your lettuce tight everyone!

A long time coming

It was recently brought to out attention that we, at one point, had an enjoyable blog where we would post the funny shit that goes on in our lives. We were confused by this. You see, the last 6 months have been rather chaotic in each of our lives. Little of it seemed funny. So, as things go, we lost track of our beloved Apacoblog, for which we are very sorry. Not so much to you the reader, but to the blog itself. Like a child with special needs, the blog cannot thrive and grow big and strong without our love and attention. So, today, the most holy of all convenience store days, we bring you the triumphant return of THE APACOBLOG.

We love you little blog. We promise to water you and keep you safe from harm... until the next time this happens, anyway.

BYE BYE!