Saturday, December 18, 2010

Graduation

10 years - 6 months - 5 days - a number of hours

What's with the tally, you might ask? It has been that long since high school graduation. Why do I care about that? Well, I will tell you, curious Curt: It is because it has taken me that long to graduate from college. College usually takes 4 years. It took me like 10.5209 years.

But seriously, who gives a shit? I finished college for myself and for my family. And, since you are likely not my family, why should you care? Well, Curt, you should care because your lazy ass needs to drop the Xbox controller and do the same. "Fuck you, Jumbo. Why do I need to do what you tell me?" Well, Curt, someday your stupid ass will want to get a job that has nothing to do with licking balls. When that day comes, you won't be able to retire from your famous ball-licking career unless you have a degree that will allow you to not lick balls.

Anyway, Curt, you fucking douche, tomorrow (actually, it's later today because I'm up all late getting drunk on vodka I stole from Curt's mother) I will walk across a stage and shake a hand. Somehow, this act will make me more valuable to potential employers. I don't get it, but it's necessary. So, pretty soon, I will have a sweet job where I check FB and MS and Tweet about my job, but don't actually do anything different from what I do now on unemployment.

Fucking system. Whatever. I will post pics of the event tomorrow.

Despite my cynicism, I am kind of excited. Not sure why. Yep.

(Oh yeah, nobody is friends with Ronnie anymore. Not sure why for that either. Just thought you would want to know.)

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