"too much...?"
I'm not to sure how Santa is actually going to turn me in to a hipster, besides maybe bring me pants 4 sizes to small, a year supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a stuck up sense of entitlement, but I'll leave the details up to him.
So in the spirit of Christmas here is my letter to Santa.
Dear Santa,
Despite the fact you promote obesity and breaking and entering I think you're pretty swell. On that note, I want you to dig deep in to your bag of tricks to help me this Christmas season. I want to be a hipster! I hope you're not laughing in the face of a needy child, Santa. Anyway here's my list.
Jeggings- I don't exactly know what these are, but I'm sure it will help me raise my hipster status by +35 hit points and +12 agility to hit on hipster women.
Year supply of cucumbers-I need to fill out those jeggings. Because I'm sure hipsters over compensate for the size of their dicks.
Reebok pumps-These are just cool.
Giant beard-Please give me advice on beard growing techniques. Yours is so impressive.
Good health insurance-Because once my transformation is complete, I'll need regular check-ups to help make sure I don't have STD's due to all the hipster sex I'll be having.
"they set a new world record for STD's"
Attitude-Because I'm not normally a douche bag and a half, I'll need the confidence to walk around as if only eating vegetarian and drinking P.B.R. is a good nutritional lifestyle. I'll also need this because I'll instantly be better than everyone else and everything everyone else does, sucks.
Gift card to ARC thrift stores- I'll need a new wardrobe.
That's it, Santa. All my dreams wrapped up in a neat list for you to bring me.
I can't wait for Christmas this year!
If I wore this I would be "King of the Hipsters"...I hope my ARC gift card will cover this, looks expensive.
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