This is a glorious week for me people. Why? I'm finally in a position to win something. Through out my life I've been competing in various games, sporting events, claw machines and the occasion family reunion potato sack race and have always come up short. But this week my fantasy football team actually has a chance to put me at the top of the podium.
Can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Once the clock hits zero and the country has declared me the greatest of all time, the first thing I will do is burn my apartment down. If laker fans can burn L.A. every year when the Lakers win, I can burn my apartment; totally justified. Second, I plan on calling the person I just beat (in this case Nick) and just scream into the phone for no less than 5 minutes. Then call his mother and explain to her how pitiful of a fantasy football player her son is and that she should disown him. From here on out, I will be taking his place at Thanksgiving.
My house! What have I done!
Finally, I will move what's left of my belongings in to his basement so he can be reminded of how awesome I am at fantasy football for the rest of the year...and because I burned down my house. I may have lost at the game of life, but I'm a champion at fantasy football.
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