I want to eat molli and nicks "my favorite muffins"

So the diet is going alright. The workout is kinda brutal but its all good pain. Anyway last night was a great night. Trivia was played and I'm giving a huge thanks to jason for posting about this blog. It means alot because we wish to get this blog massive and get more people signed up to write about the shit they do while at parties. Jason if you are reading thanks again and I know you drink and have whacky times so if you want to write please let us know. We ended up coming in fourth place but were in second most of the time. Then we headed off to benders. It's a great place because we end up knowing everyone who shows up, a giant reunion every week. Ryan was the man of the hour and also the local drunk ahaha he had alot to drink. Crazy days.

Nick has some video updates that should be posted soon. For some reason things have not been to crazy/funny when we go out. I think we hit a dry spell. Sign up people! please! To sign up just send an email to zacs1@aol.com and ill add you as an author.

That's all for now. Bye.

oh go read audiofordrinking.blogspot.com jasons awesome blog

I want chocolate. And I want it nooooow!

So today was day 1 for our work out. It was crazy intense. My arms are jello and nicks legs and mush. Needless to say is im hungry and I'm done eating for the day until lunch tomorrow. I highly recommend the safeway select soups. Very helpful. Also I dont feel like a fat shit head right now. I feel pretty energetic and relax, instead of fat tired and un-comfortable. Hopefully other people will join us. If you want more details we will email you a copy of the work out.

It's time for some changes and this is step one. Hopefully this blog will inspire people to make some changes as well and hopefully seek personal happiness with whatever you wish to do.

Also our party is coming up fast and we will have the invites out very soon, so keep posted.

Word.

12 weeks from now...

I was away over Thanksgiving in Washington D.C. and I had plenty of time to think. Upon other pressing things I pondered was my body. I'm a fat kid... I love me some tasty cake. The problem is that I don't want to be fat. I guess I wouldn't mind being a little chubby, but not like this. Nearly my entire wardrobe is obsolete. That sucks. SO, me and Zac are setting sail on a 12 week voyage that will take us to the doorstep of sexy and tasty (they are brothers.) Today was our final hoorah before embarking. Take a look...



Here it is. Our last meal. Look at it in all its glory. How it sparkles like a diamond. 2 Angus meals from Burger King with all the trimmings. Mmm.



Here we are literally moments before nasty, sweaty consumption. Check it out.

Now, there is a bad side to all of this hotness and tangy-sweet sexiness... 1. The work. We will be following the 12-week program from mensworkoutguide.com. Our workout selection is the Tyler Durden. Hot. 2. The food. Yikes. Check out some of the recommendations...





Meat free? Am I reading that right? Meat free sausage? That's like calling a cracker a tasty Angus burger from burger king (Oh God, I can't get it off my mind). How dare these people.




I don't know what pups is/are, but this is frightening.

If you want to stick it out with us, we begin tomorrow, November 28th. That means we will be finished on February 20th. 12 weeks to a tasty new you! AWWW YEAH!



At the end, we will look like this guy...





This is the guy that created the program. Follow along and post your shit.

TODAY IS THE APACOLYPSE FOR MY FAT FUCKING ASS!!!

why do you gotta look like health.

haha. so tonight we decided to stay in. we got a bottle of fridays mudslide... there is actually alcohol in there, but why not just add some more. oh ok. i also bought a bottle of bacardi. yum. this is honestly the most relaxing drunk ever. EVER!

oh great, ronnie just got a gernarde launcher. hahaha gernarde. hahahahahaha

who needs another drink?! this guy.

My Great American Cougar Hunt.

A challenge has been thrown my way by paul to find americas next great cougar. Before I give my decision on this matter I just want to say I may not come out a live. I may get devoured by this so called "cougar". If I don't make it please divide my belongings equally amongst the apacoblog group. Normally I only accept this sort of challenge is if there is a prize at stake...nah my fellow hunters, I will do this for pride and honor, am I making a big deal out of this....yes. So paul I accept and I will make everyone proud.

As I lace up my boots and put on my best cologne...I have one last thing to say. I only bag 5 star cougars.

Zac's Great American Cougar hunt.....

After his tiresome efforts of reading up on books, studying prey and weather-girls I feel a good old American challenge is in order. Whether its in the martini lounges of Denver, or ski resorts in Vail or Beaver Creek there will be a Kewg in the mist. Waiting... lurking...on the prowl for young prey.

I am tossing in Zac as the bait.
Can he lure her in?

Let us become familiar with this skillful hunter, The "Kewg" a.k.a Cougar.



Cougar
Noun. A 35+ year old attractive female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"


The challenge here is for Zac is to "bag" a Kewg that is worth a 5-star achievement. He will need to use all resources to become the clever prey and lure her in. The Kewgs are listed below in 3 different categories. 3-star, 4-star and the ultimate "bag" the 5-star cougar. Now needing to reach the 5-star he will need to add "requirements" to a 3, or 4-star kewg to meet this challenge.

3-Star Performance (meets listed below and needs 2 more "additional requirements" to make 5 star)

• Over 35 and hot


• She has had “work”done

4-Star Performance (meets all listed below plus one "additional requirement" make 5 star)

• Over 38 and hot


• She has had “work”done


• At least 1 child


• She drives her ex-husband's Mercedes or BMW

5-Star Performance Over 43 and hot (and meets one of the following:)

• Owns private jet


• She has had “work”done


• She's still married-she and her husband like to swing


• You bag the Kewg and her 18 year old kitten


• She is famous, or was married to someone that was


• She drives a car worth more than a year of school at Harvard

Additional requirements (add any below to a 3 or 4 star to make a 5-star)

Divorced
At least one 1 child
Driving an automobile worth more than a year at Harvard University
You are younger than her oldest child
She has grand kids
She has a second house in Summit, Pitkin or Routt county
Her first home is in LA and her second home is in Colorado
Ex-husband is worth over $1million
Her job is to go to the mall, the gym, the spa, the tanning salon and/or PTA meetings
She’s famous, or divorced from someone famous
She spent over $100 on you in one night
She has absolutely no desire to “just talk” or “take it slow”
You are the first person she has been with in a year that didn’t need Viagra

good luck my friend.

Make us proud

Thanks to funkmasterb for the help on challenge and requirements.

bowling?!

haha. so tonight i bartended and worked with ronnnnnnie. zac, jason and lucy came in to cocktail it up. i got off work and came home to watch ronnnnnie own at my new game! i wanted to go bowling, so jason and lucy decided to rock it out too! we got to the bowling ally to see a cop towel whipping the employees. haha. lucy got a hold of a towel and whipped the cop. HA HA HA HA. we started bowling and lucy decided to throw two balls down the lane, one hit the guard thing..... strike one..... theeeeen he threw a ball with out looking, it hit the guard thing again. strike two! some guy came up and told lucy that if it happens again then we are going to get kicked out. the pins never reset, so we sat there wondering whats up...... the cop came back and said the manager shut our lane off. turns out, lucy broke our lane. hahahaha.

we then headed to the robosto room..... no one wanted a drink, but me. so i got one. ha. jason decided that he wanted to get tough and wanted to fight people, (wow that sounds like me. hahahaha) so i fired my beer down and we took off. hahaha. i wasn't in the mood, at all. we got back to the car, and lucy threw his papa johns sign on his car.... no tickets? yeah thats right!

when we got home, jason and i had thanksgiving again, in sandwich form. i wish thanksgiving was every week. the way to my heart is amazing food, and thanksgiving is amazing food.

The Mighty Boosh!

old greg!

Wow, Im offical....

Day1-
Its Nov 19th at about 7:28pm EST here in Tampa,FL. I am excited to be an offical member of the APACO group! I am very pleased to be apart of this presteigious group of people. Im excited to see whats going to happen in the up and coming months/years with this. Its a great idea. I cant wait to fucking party!!!! To my friends, ZAC, RYAN, NICK etc.... you guys are fucking amazing!

jay who?

hahaha. who would have guessed that it was actually him. way to have a good time at the bar guy. ha.

zac pretty much nailed the night, but i thought i needed to comment on that.

the party is going to be the best night of everyones lives, so everyone whos anyone will be there. don't get left out, cause you'll probably end up killing yourself.

Jay cutler is frumpy and needs to wear an undershirt!

So tonight was a pretty awesome night. We started the evening off by drinking martinis and having guitar hero battles, which nick obviously won. The normal kids were out tonight but we were join by three new people, Will and his girlfriend and ronnies new girl jackie. After getting crazy off of martinis we decided to head to a local bar to see wills girlfriends friend play a show. They are pretty good so I won't rag on them about being shitty. Anyway we decided to head downtown to a place called mahoneys. We had to stand in line for this place. It was CHAD McBRO CENTRAL! So after spending about 20min in line we get in. And it's packed to the brim! We squeeze through people and finally get to the back of the bar when I over hear someone say something about someone being a douche bag. I look around and notice to where he is pointing. To my suprise in the back corner hiding like a scared puppy is jay cutler the starting quater back for the denver broncos. What frumpy looking guy. You are amillionaire right? So why are you not having any fun? You're not with hot girls, you are with some tool bags and guess what you are fat with your chest hair hanging out. And for crying out loud can't you afford an undershirt for your button down? What a very -un-classy thing for a man of your position. You had on two buttons snapped and everything hanging out. Comb your hair man and put a smile on your face. I be friended some guy by pretending to be from south africa and it worked and I ignored jay and that's how he introduced himself to ME! What an whacky guy...anyway besides that we went to illegal petes downtown and I ate the best chicken tacos ever. And guess who was there...thomas from the DTC store,....what a cool kid. SO now it's 2:30 in the morning and I have to go help my parents set up a HD tv in the kitchen tomorrow..who does that? weird...anyway good night blog and everyone. We are having our first offical apacoparty at the purple martini on december 8th. Ill give more details about that soon so until then keep being whoever you want to be and have a fun time jsut living life. bye!

p.s. please forgive my crappy post and writing skills because I'm still drunk and not n the right state of mind.

Geeks who drink, I mean suck

So hey,

we played Geeks Who Drink trivia last night at Illegal Pete's. It was fun. We had a great time... UNTIL WE LOST!!! Not only did we LOSE, we came in LAST!!! Holy shit... not even one team left or was too drunk to perform. Wow. I mean yikes. Oh well. I don't really have it in me to post more about getting destroyed, but maybe someone else could come next time and take a dive so we don't finish DEAD F'ING LAST

Jumbo

PS You're making a German spectacle of yo'self BABY!

This is a serious post.

I got up few minutes early this morning and turned on the T.V. s\to channel 9 and the Today show was on. Normally they have really terrible stories about something no one cares about until this story came on about a family with three young children and the mom got rear-ended and the three children were killed. Two young girls and one boy. Just a few months later the woman is pregnant again with guess what....two young girls and a boy! It's a miracle! I totally believe that they were destined to have children in thier lives. I believe in miracles and if you are feeling down about our life and concerned or in-different about how things are going, I suggest you wait for your own miracle. It might be small or big but it will happen to you. So please wait for it and give it time and things will work out for you.

Don't give up hope

Hey Paul, FUCK OFF

Ok, so everyone wants in on this sweet apacoblog thing. They're always like "I wanna party like I'm about to die!" Well, TOO FUCKIN BAD. Haha, JK JK OMG! You can still get in, but PAUL can't! I hate you Paul. You're douche. Ha-fucking-ha.

More updates to come from the jumbo soon. Keep checking back, and sign up, shoot us your email and get signed up... except for Paul. No Paul.

Lotsa Love, (Except for Paul)
Jumbo

I'm already pregnant, so what other kinda shenanigan could I get in to?

I love to spend my weekends when I have free time to watch new movie trailers at quicktime.com. So Im going to list the ones I liked and maybe you would be willing to check out. I'll list them from best to worst. Enjoy!



Juno
No Country For Old Men
Wristcutters
There Will Be Blood
The Golden Compass
The Counterfeiters
The Bucket List
Finishing the Game

Let's all go to the speak easy.... The 1940's is sooo cool.

So Im going to write about what happend on thursday night because I was so tired and hungover that nothing happend on friday. So we head off to trivia and the illegal petes in the DTC and the place is packed! Our old place is never as packed as this store but anyway, nick is already drinking the sneak (The sneak is a vodak called Svedka...the best I have ever had) and is already silly to the max. So we get there and settle in and say hi to all our friends and that's when the night of drinking for me began. We are doing pretty well at trivia and end up in first place at some point in the evening but ended up 8th! What the fuck happend right...? Nick thinks we are cursed. So by this point I end up with about 3 pitchers of beer in my belly and a desire to head downtown ro a guitar hero 3 tournament. Nick and I CAN'T DRIVE so Mcawesome takes us down to three kings on broadway to wreck shop on these FOOLS! So we arrive and the place smells like ass, like people don't know how to wipe..eeww. This thing is sponsored by the local radio station 93.3 KTCL and no one knows whats going on at all. So nick and I finally sign up and since we are first we have to battle each other first. The radio kids walk up to us and ask "do you know any codes to unlock the songs?" And we look at the guy and say NOPE! and then they make us play Social Distortion on hard. HARD! for some reason hard is harded than EXPERT! anyway I lose big time in front of a small crowd and nick owns my life. But the very next person ends up beating nick. And nick is kinda mad and him and McAwesome decided to head home. Well that's where my night just started, I ended up walking to benders tavern on 13th and grant and three kings is on broadway and ellsworth. If you live in denver you know how far of a walk it is, but I managed it in about 15 min. I was drunk so I don't remember most of the walk. I was only going to meet ryan there but it turns out EVERYONE WAS THERE WHOOT! Ill give you a run down of who was there.
Paul (OHHHHH BUDDIES)
Tara(Pauls girl)
Erin
Courtney
Ryan
Chris
Morgan
Harrison
and some other people who I cant remember right now. Anyway it was a fun time and I had two more beers and thank god got a ride home from ryan or else I would have had to get a cab. And that would of been gay. But on that note if you missed last weeks episode of south park I HIGHLY suggest going to spzone.com and watch it. So im out to go home and eat cinnamon toast crunch...yum.!

answer: ok, but it's gonna cost me two hours cleaning the bar, a dry cleaning bill and a sprained thumb.

what the fuck was the question again???!

ok, from the begining....

i'm bartending at pete's and some people ask for some frozen top self margaritas. i pull out the blender and throw one maragarita in there.... it seems to be doing well, so i add the next one. everything seems great till i hear a crazy clicking sound from the blender. i turn around and the blender is going god damn crazy. it looked like the stupid bitch from poltergeist. the blender is spinning uncontrolably, so i go to stop it.... the handle rocks me right in the thumb and the margaritas turn in to a beautiful shower all over work. next, i hear... "we have a problem here", i turn around dripping in booze, and this guy has a nice array of booze on his little sport jacket.

he turns out to be an ok guy. i have to get his jacket dry cleaned, but thats fine. all he wanted was a club soda with a twist of lime, unfortunatly club soda won't get the margarita out of his jacket. haha. however, he still left me a tip!

i spent about 2 hours cleaning the bar tonight... it looks beautiful, and smells amazing. hahahahaha

i'm watching the wizard right now... one of my favorite movies ever... thanks to on demand. no store carries this movie.... seriously noooooooo one! i hate every store for this.

today was a great day none the less...... i got a promotion!! thats what life is about, moving forward.

PLUS... i got dizzy to come out tonight! benders is the kind of place where it's like a high school reunion. i hung out with soooo many people i love to see.

needless to say, i had a great day/night!

back to the wizard..... "send me an angel, right now."

question: can i get two blended margaritas? HA HA HA HA

MY NEW NAME AT WORK IS BLENDED. don't forget it. ha

Nick does not feel good we think he has SIDS!

So tonight we head off to illegal pete's DTC to continue our reign of terror over the geeks who drink trivia. We took first place last week, and now that we have more people coming I think we can keep first place again this week. It's always amazing what you can dig up from your brain about the most useless shit ever. Anyway...good luck to everyone because we will dominate you retarded ass faces. So if you would exscuse me I need to take a dumb and leave. Ill post the results once I get back. Remember people live like it's your last day on earth.

McRib is the official shit-wich of the Apoclypse

I had a McRib today. About 20 minutes later, I felt like it the apocolypse had begun. A fair warning: Although the McRib might look awesome and real tasty, it will bring the fire of Satan to your asshole.

True, the Apacoblog is about living like the apocolypse is here, but spare your asshole. Avoid the fucking McRib. God help you if this message has reached you too late. \\

Jumbo

Camping is IN-TENTS!!!

Last night was a bunch of drunken dubarchery and intense games of guitar hero 3 at our favorite drinking hole, illegal petes. And it all went down at the early hour of 3 in the afternoon. We meet ronnies new date and ate a few burritos and ended our night by 8p.m because HEROES came on. It was a pretty dead evening but we managed to have fun as always. We have some pictures but I can't get them off of nicks phone. The only thing I really remember is being super tired then coming home and watching clerks with nick and molli. The best line from that movie is "Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot." Classic movie.
Anyway....let me break down what we had to drink.

4 pictchers of coors light and car bombs. yikes.

Maybe I'll be at DTC illegal petes tonight...beering it up.

Toby Mcguires first movie and his bad hair cut.

Tonight was a bust, I had two drinks and all it did was make me really sleepy. But on the bright side nick and I found a gem on comcast's On-Demand feature. We ended up finding "The Wizard" starring Fred Savage , that's right ryan we watched one of your favorite movies hahaha. So tonight was a lazy evening. Anyway im out of here.

Everywhere I go I smell food...I must have a tumor.

Since I am bored and serverly broke I am staying in and having a mini-apacoparty. We have plenty of sneak to go around. I will post later as to how much for we are having. Let the fun times STAAAAARRRT!

Don't you DARE lose the smooth!

Tonight was not exactly an apaco-party but it was interesting none the less. So on that note let me begin...
I ate spicy chicken burritos yet again. Our adventure started off with the usual suspects, ryan, ronnie and myself we were missing some of the core members such as nick and jason. SO ryan and ronnie and I went to the illegal petes in the DTC. Courtney, our local awesome chick was working the bar tonight. Courtney is this cool, very attractive, down to earth girl who I wish will become better friends with all of us over the next couple of months. Anyway she is getting us drunk and ready to start the evening. We meet some new people who work there and their names are thomas and jeff. Awesome dudes. So we get drunk and do some shots, I start dancing and getting myself worked up for the night a head. Courtney suggest we all go downtown to a place called "The Rock Bar". This place is weird. It smells like butt the instant I walk in. And I see about 45-50 people all dressed as if it's the 80's. Remember the 80's is gay despite a few good bands/movies. The bathroom smells like a donkey took a shit on the floor and decided to vomit afterwards. The floor was covered in what seemed like piss because no one was washing their hands(except me and my friends) and my shoes kept sticking to the floor, and it was not snowing outside so where did all that water come from? IT WAS PISS, STOP PISSING ON THE FLOOR YOU FUCKING ANIMALS! fuck!. Anyway we slam a couple PBR's which was not so bad considering they were warm and we start to get our dance on to really old school rock songs. I notice courtney has some cute friends so I start to stare and I get caught, opps my bad. Anyway now that I think about it nothing really crazy happend. We all had a great time and met new people and yea. Sweetness all around. We ate wendy's which was a plus. Oh! and before I totally forget we "supposedly" meet dime bag darrels cousin who as missing his two front teeth and two fingers from his left hand. I guess everyone calls him the "caveman" and I can see why.So everyone out there in TV land, don't lose the smooth and keep the fire burning toniiiiiiiight. Winter is fast approaching so hopefully we can all find nice ladies to spend those long nights with:)
now im just rambling. We saw a guy dressed really nice and decided he wasnt a homeless bum but just really drunk, until we saw him 2 hours later walking down colfax looking for change. Where the FUCK did he get that awesome suite? Anyway Im sleepy GO BRONCOS!

i'm ok, we won't leave till my pants are off...

ok so....... friday night i managed to drink a bit to much svedka...... that shit is the devil.

lets start over.....

i woke up on saturday morning with no shoes, no socks, no pants, no briefs....... but..... but...... i left my shirt on......

i'm ausm, i'm not gonna lie.

i love my friends.... aparently i made a huge mess and they didn't call to make me clean it up. i owe them big time!

living like tomorrow won't happen, is no problem for me....... get over yourself, you're lame. ha ha.

The aftermath...this will be a long day.

So the acpaco-party finally ended when everyone started to get really grumpy. Ryan was still drunk and yelling until about 2 in the morning, that asshole ha ha. Anyway, I can only speak for myself but I woke up with a bad headache and it seems like the apocalypse was in full force in my intestines because my farts smell like pure death. My post last night about spicy chicken burritos was right.
My kitched is destroyed and the cake molli made earlier in the evening was devoured by ryan. Oh, and if you were wondering about the rotten pumpkin...ryan ended up taking it home with him. I hope his walk with a rotten pumpkin across the complex was a fun one. What if those people were saving that rotten pumpkin to make pumpkin pie or, they were going to send it to africa to feed a massive family of 15? Will people eat rotten pumpkins? Im at work now and was hoping that daylight savings was today but its not so, im dead tired and im sitting here choking myself out with my bad gas.

Let me explain what this blog will be about over the next couple months.

We have decided to live like its the apocalypse. Which means we do what we want, when we want and so forth. Remember we are all going to die anyway so....anything goes. Way back in the day these people called "Myans" had a calander that predicted the world would end in 2012. That's not to far away, so why not live today like its 2012. We will post videos and pic's of our whacky adventures and everyone else should have a apaco-party as well. If you would lke to become an author please email me at: Zacs1@aol.com and I'll add you. So until then do whacky shit and dance like you're gonna DIE!

Does this night ever end? Fuck you mom and dad!

So the apartment complex shut down our pool, so what do we do? We run around and smash our neighbors old rotten pumpkins. We are assholes, so what it's the apcocalypse. We suggest you do two things to have your own apaco-party. Buy svedka and get a bunch of animal masks. Let me also mention that spicy chicken burritos WILL give you dhiarrea.

You're gonna die, so stuff yourself full of shit.

Welcome to the Apacoblog. All of us assholes are going to die in 2012 so why not live like its our last day on earth. Enjoy the tasty video.